Yes, I did! I had a brilliant plan for a post.
And I've worked on it, stepped away and returned to it, and kept this up but alas no. It seems this seed is not ready to take. It's awkward, I can't pull the theme together, the words aren't flowing and I feel like I'm pushing to make it happen.
Which made me kinda laugh. Because how many times do we have a "plan", or an idea, or a feeling about the way things "should" be and as hard as we try, as much as we "effort", it, Just. Will. Not. Happen.
In the words of Yoga, waaaaaaaay too much Sthira: >>>>>effort<<<<<.
For a posture to be considered Yoga, it has two ingredients (oh and you, so that's 3!), "Effort and Ease".
In Sanskrit they go by: Sthira and Sukha. Sometimes on our mat, we can find ourselves pushing, really making "it" happen, trying reallllllly hard, and that's the Sthira, the effort. But here's the clincher, we must pair this effort with ease, Sukah, the sweetness, to have it happen with some sense of simplicity and trust.
Or think of it this way, our inhale is the effort element of the breath, we must put forth effort to breathe air in, yet our exhale is the release, there is a sweetness and letting go in a sigh. Or this: when you open a beautifully wrapped present, there is an anticipation, a drawing of the breath in as you unwrap it. When I gaze at a sunset or a crescent moon, it has sigh quality, a letting go and letting in of the beauty of it all.
So my post sits in my drafts.
Its not fully cooked, not ready to be born.
And I'm now cool with that, I am sort of humbled by its apparent unreadiness to be pulled together.
I think life lessons are like this. There are some we just keep repeating because we haven't absorbed the full weight of that particular event/cycle/pattern. Then maybe one day, its not an effort anymore to try to change it, its more a letting go. It's come full circle, and its more a dropping away than an intentional "do not do ... anymore".
The inhale and the exhale. I guess this post was ready to be born.
Lately, I've been guided to ask myself this question: what is your medicine?
Where do you go?
What do you eat?
What little rituals do you have?
What do you read?
What conversations are you in?
Do any of these contain medicine? What is it that heals you? What is it that supports you? What "life vitamins" are you taking to keep you well, supported, right-side up, happy, shining, loved even?
My teacher Kelly Sunrose has a mantra; "You are your own medicine". Elena Brower talks about your gifts being your medicine for the world, what you uniquely have to offer is your medicine.
What do you do, that you know and trust is good medicine for you? When you do these things, or visit these places, how do you feel? How you feel, or how we feel, lets us know if this medicine is good or if its just a placebo.
Here's some medicine suggestions:
- Nature, yes! Being in nature, smelling, looking, listening, feeling. Nature is a healing balm for us all, and it doesn't need to be fancy. It can be local and easy! You could wander into your backyard, sit on your balcony, raining? find a window with something green to gaze upon. A long time favourite of mine, which I didn't even realise was "medicine", is to go outside at night. Usually I do this before bed, and I gaze up to see some stars, maybe the moon if its not a new moon, clouds if its luminous, just to take in that beautiful picture before bed time.
- Bath. I love a good soak in a warm bath. Sometimes I light candles, maybe a rose petal or 10, perhaps some music. Taking the time to immerse myself in the warmth of a bath can be quite the medicine before the evening finishes.
- Bike. Yes, I love to bike. I ADORE my red bike! It makes me feel so happy, as I leisurely peddle my way to class, coffee, the shops. I am NOT a competitive cyclist, I cycle for the love of it. I can slow down, my senses can absorb the beauty around me and its intentionally slow. Yummmmmmmm!
- Poetry. I am IN LOVE with Salt by Nayyirah Waheed and The Radiance Sutras by Lorin Roche. I don't need any more books, probably not for many years (but we will see how that goes!!). For me its so calming, so grounding, to bask in the beauty of these books. They are deeeeeeeeeeep! They are yummy, they are like olive oil, so nourishing, so much in just a few words. This probably also is why I love Sanskrit, just the one word unfolding can keep me going for a few weeks.
So, think about your life, your days, your rhythm. What do you do, that feels so good to you? It might be different to mine, it might be same-same. But its so good for us to find out what they are, so when life is all topsy-turvy, all "average", or the boat feels like its sinking, turn to these medicines! Soak in them. Let them restore and uplift, or even just soothe you.
Love to know what your good medicine is?